Dear Jennifer,
I was relaxing at home late tonight, around 2 a. M., after a day spent writing for my website, genxchronicle.com. We cover news, culture and lifestyle through a Generation X lens. I also did some work emails, and some tasks around the house as well.
The highlight of the evening was that I cooked dinner. I made chicken with peppers and mushrooms in red sauce, Italian style. It was delicious. I’ve made the dish one time before, and this time was just slightly not quite as good, but I think that’s because I winged it, whereas last time I used a recipe.
The thing is, winging it is just a lot more fun. It’s a much more relaxing way of cooking than getting all stressed out following a recipe. So it just needs a little more fine-tuning, but all in all, it was a hugely successful dish tonight.
So at 2 a.m., I popped on CBS, and The James Corden Show was on. You were the first guest, and you looked absolutely stunning. You were wearing a beautiful magenta dress, and you absolutely radiated femininity and heat.
The other guests were some dudes I didn’t really know well, but who cares because I was focused on you Jennifer. I thought back to your award presentation at The Oscars, where you glowed in a stunning blue dress.
You were also later caught on camera while sitting in the audience making a very surprised or shocked face during a presentation. Your expression spawned a thousand memes on the Internet. You took the joke well, saying in various interviews and on Twitter afterwards that that was just your normal face.
What I learned from watching you at the Oscars, Jennifer, and especially watching you on James Corden tonight, is that I really like you. I mean like I really like you. You just do it for me, you move me, you excite me.
So tonight, going live on my website, genxchronicle.com, I’m popping the question to you Jennifer. I know you recently separated from Ben Affleck, so the timing is right.
Here goes.
Jennifer, will you marry me?
I’ll give you a few days to think about it.
Yours Truly,
Charles Tanzer
