So I watched the Super Bowl tonight. It was a terrible matchup between the New England Patriots and the LA Rams. The Patriots won, but it was a really boring game.
But the football got me thinking of the concept of toxic masculinity, which has ingrained itself in academia, media, and people of good conscience. The definition of “toxic masculinity” according to Wikipedia is:
the concept that legitimizes men’s dominance in society and how women are subordinate to them.
Now there are a lot of other aspects to toxic masculinity, such as the notion that men feel compelled to be aggressive towards others to achieve their goals, including in extreme cases resorting to physical violence.
Personally, I don’t believe that men asserting themselves over women, or over other men, imbues them with toxic masculinity.
But I do believe there is a natural order of power in the universe. And I believe men are at the apex, followed by women, and then finally children.
That may be an extremely medieval view of gender relations, but I grew up in the 1980’s, when Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and Jean Claude Van Damme dominated the box office in macho action blockbusters.
So that’s where my worldview comes from.
Last night I rewatched Pulp Fiction, Quentin Tarantino’s masterpiece crime drama from 1994. I first saw the movie in 1994 in Tokyo when I was living in Japan, and me and my two American friends were blown away by the viscerally powerful portrait of gangsters, crime bosses, grifters and drug dealers.
It’s also a morality play about the hopes, dreams, and fears of Americans in Southern California living in the underworld of LA.
A couple of the scenes really stuck with me, like when a middle-aged yet still very handsome John Travolta has dinner with a gorgeous Uma Thurman at a 60’s themed hamburger joint. It’s one of the most sensual scenes I’ve seen in a long time. And the chemistry between Travolta and Thurman is scorching.
The other super sexy scene is between boxer Bruce Willis and his French girlfriend Fabiana. She asks for oral pleasure, for which he obliges, and she returns the favor. It’s a beautiful and captivating scene of mutual love, and it resonates with anyone who’s ever been in love and had a good sex life.
Now, here’s the interesting thing. Pulp Fiction was directed by Quentin Tarantino in 1994, and it definitely wouldn’t pass today’s PC firewalls for movies. I was 20 when I saw the film, and I and my two companions, one of whom was a woman, absolutely loved it.
But it’s full of gratuitous violence, misogyny, copious use of the N-word, and a general Darwinian view of the world.
So I don’t think it would pass muster in today’s #MeToo, trigger warning, safe space, need to ask consent for every sexual advance, kinder and gentler world.
Maybe that’s because I grew up in the 1980’s, and I’m a proud member of Generation X.
Or maybe it’s just because each generation defines its own social, political, and sexual mores.
In any case, all I can say is that Pulp Fiction is an all-time classic, every millennial should watch it, and I do believe there is a natural order to the universe that places men at the hierarchical apex.
Strong women also exist, and there is room for coexistence between the gods of men and women.
But according to Greek mythology, Achilles conquered Troy and won over Helen.
That is the natural order of nature, and it is as it should be.
Toxic masculinity be damned.
